The Last call…
मेरी हर सुबह तुम्हरी याद से होती है,
बस, कुछ मुस्कान से होती है, तो कुछ आंसू से होती है।
(Every day my day starts with your memories,
Some are with the smile,
And some are with tears…)
Regardless my all try, I’m still not able to sleep, anytime, and anywhere I could sleep except in the darkness because they are filled by her dreams.
Deep lost in her dream one of the evenings when I got up ~ as if someone is calling my name. Certainly, a familiar voice ‘Adi‘…my phone was lighting with some text and very soon the call.
Yes!! Call by her. Before I can make up myself, or draw all the courage to answer, my quivering hands picked up the call. Why I’m shaking? No, I’m not a drug addict but once I had her addiction and this time it was called by her. With her voice, I was on the seventh sky, my prayers were accepted, my heart started dancing and my soul started crying in deep love.
And the voice on the other side says ‘Adi’!!
Once when you’re really close to someone then days of separation doesn’t affect much, you feel the same closeness after many days and this time it was six months, three weeks and five days.
‘How she is’ was the question of my life and death at that particular movement but hiding all my trepidation I asked her quietly ‘is everything fine?’
Poof!! Bombarded with many quires, many questions, many emotions in just a few minutes and like old days I made comeback, laughing and enjoying the company of best the person I had.
‘Nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced.’ And for the first time, I was experiencing something which any word is not appropriate to explain. But one thing is sure all the loneliness, fear, vanished in the sense of oneness. I met with my own soul. Like an ocean, I opened myself completely in front of her and like rain in the ocean she was making me sweat. Her words, her voice started dancing in my heart again…the unsung song of my heart finally got his perfect tune back.
But, ‘Love is an illusion I recall’ and very soon she asked me to move on!! To forget and live happily this is her last call because she ‘moved on’.
हम एक दूसरे की खामोशी समझते थे ना,
फिर कैसे एक दूसरे के शब्दों को भी नहीं समझ पाए?
कभी इशारों को भी समझते थे ना,
फिर कैसे एक दूसरे की आवाज भी नहीं सुन पाए?
ना इतना दर्द होता-
ना इतनी दूरियां होती;
हम तो कभी एक दूसरे की आंखों को समझे थे ना,
फिर कैसे आज आंसू को भी नहीं देख पाए?
Blankness, Where I do not understand anything nor I can make you all understand. I requested, made my all try again but sometimes you do not have any control over the situation, this is what she explained. And I requested her never to call me again what so ever happens. Do not come in my dreams again, do not make me feel her presence again, let me be, be with the pain…
I woke up- and now I doubt she was real or just a dream?